My Memoir

Hello.

               

     Twenty years ago in about five months, you were born. Twenty years and nine months if you count the period you were a guest in her womb. When they loved each other enough to make love, you’re not sure if the goal was a child, or just the pleasure of being intimate, being in love and wanting the whole building, the whole city, the whole world to know that love blossomed from each of their bodies and into one another. Months passed quietly, love and work, both activities consumed them entirely. A forgettable day became memorable. She was pregnant. 4 months.

                

Love was made recklessly and in the process life was created. But two lives were already in full progress. Climbing up the corporate ladder, consumed with better, desiring for more. Desire rejected the new life, it would be a hindrance, a roadblock to what those two lives in full progress were destined to achieve.

               

But in the midst of love they decided to love the life now living in her body. Timing was wrong, plans were obliterated, but desire still abided in both lives. They worked harder, became less invested in each other and more invested in a future that needed to be created for the life that was already changing their lives and their love.

                

You were born. It was a blizzard. Just the two lives, nervously starring at the new one. The freezing precip fell from the sky, a cold chill ran up their spines, the love that seemingly had inferno strength left them freezing.

                

The city was left for suburbia. Culture for cookie cutter. But hey, who said the American dream incorporated culture? Love was left in that small studio apartment, where love made a life that changed two. You worry they resent you.

               

Months passed, the new life grew. You walked and talked, you said dad first, then mom. And then they left. Desire never left either of them, while love slowly did. They went back to work, started where they had left off. A nanny became your parents. She was nice though, lovely woman. She loved the live the two had created, the life they left to continue their own. The two lives would quietly stop in your room, as if they were visiting you in their own home. They loved you, they really did.

One Christmas after another, they weren't there. The two lives off pursuing goals, attaining some America dream, which was a fucking joke. Your dream was sitting in front of a massive pine covered tree opening presents with a fucking nanny. Love never filled that house the way it did the small studio apartment where they carelessly made love and life.

              

 Facades became a daily ritual for the two lives that no longer loved each other. Oddly enough they cared enough about the life they made to stay together, try and stick it out or whatever. You grew up, went to school, and made friends. Lived the typical American life, you were beginning to blossom while the two lives had been slowly rotting.

               

The nanny left, the new life wasn't so new anymore. The house got cold, almost like the blizzard you had been born on. It’s not that love wasn't there, but love for each other was gone. The two lives no longer loved each other just the one they created. How could you not love the person you made life with?

Divorce. They had rotted into corpses of who they had been in that studio apartment ten years prior. You didn't cry, you expected it. You lived, held your feels deep in the crevices of your heart and lived. Because although this is an autobiography they are your life, they gave you life and they took life from you. The emotional pain killed inside, you never think your family will be the one to explode. But you lived, made it through middle school then high school.  

That was life. They offered objects instead of affection. You love them but you hate them. They should have tried harder, did better. Now you look for love in every fucking person because you didn't experience enough at home. Because the two people who had once loved each other so much couldn't even show you, their kid what the fuck love was.

You’re in college now.  A pretty cool kid; you have no idea what you want to be. But you know you want to contribute; you can contribute to society, to the world, to art? Who knows what institution you’ll truly make your mark on. You love your parents, you know they want the best for you, and just like how you’re trying to navigate through the highs and lows of young adulthood, they did the same trying to figure out how to raise you. In no way is this autobiography a massacre of them, of those two lives because they were and are human, they’re growing. We’re actually growing together. I love you. 

Housewife ≥ Any Other Profession

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be a housewife just as there is nothing wrong with her wanting to be a corporate drone. I can't understand how an individual can represent "feminism" but not respect a woman of sound mind to make her own lifestyle choices.

Sadly, third wave feminism is not all inclusive of every woman, and I guess that's probably true, to many social institutions...leaving out persons they claim to benefit. But whenever you notice the people or institution who claims to represent you, start to degrade you, take a minute to question if that institution even respects you. You don't have to hail "third wave feminist" to attain the respect and equality you deserve.
A woman can and should be respected in her household just as much or maybe even more than in the boardroom.

A War Within a Race (Repost)

The House Negro and the Field Negro – Malcolm X

“…He ate the same food his master ate and wore his same clothes. And he could talk just like his master - good diction…”

  -Malcolm X 

I've always experienced questioning and inquiries about the way I speak; how I choose to deliver myself. The overarching belief that it sounded too white, my white friends thought I sounded fine; because I sounded like them. And I couldn't sound any other way or else I wouldn't have friends.

That is where it began; between the House Negro and the Field Negro, as Malcolm X puts so eloquently in the speech he delivered at Michigan State University in 1963. Black kids who perhaps tend to speak intelligently are immediately labeled as trying or acting white. Or get made fun of for sounding “white” particularly by black counterparts. (Something I've experienced on multiple occasions) But this was the slave master’s original plan: to put the House Negro and Field Negro at odds with each other. It immediately pins people that by all understanding should be united in a fight against white oppression. Instead they end up fighting each other, on the belief that the House Negro has become too much like their master, and that was the master’s plan all along: to start a war within a race. A plan that has worked for centuries, a plan that still works today...

Rape Culture: What We Choose Not to See

*An essay I wrote in early March on the great debate of rape culture; still in original, essay format. 

Rape Culture: What We Choose Not to See

Rape culture is real and ever prevalent in our society. Rape culture is defined as an environment in which rape and other forced sexual activities are prevalent but normalized within society; thus being considered a societal norm. Generally the ideas of rape culture are perpetuated and streamlined through media outlets, negative, misogynist language, overall degrading of women, victim bashing and deemphasizing of the actual crime of rape or sexual assault.  Originally derived within the third wave of feminism, the terminology rape culture was designed to address a lack of sensitivity and respect to the actual act of rape. Currently in American society and throughout the world there tends to be a very blasé and almost humorous approach to the severity of rape, and there is little to no acknowledgement that rape is an actual crime in some developing countries. But as far as America goes many average citizens fail to take into account the real issue of rape culture because people choose to believe it’s not a reality or a concern; no want wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Rape culture, is an intrinsic part of our culture and not a positive one either. “In our culture rape and sexual assault is made to be both invisible and inevitable.” How does one change a culture that turns a blind eye to the severity of rape culture?

“It isn’t true.” “It’s just a new thought movement from more radical feminist.” “If she doesn’t say no, well then it wasn’t rape.” “Rape culture, what is that?” The main issue within society realizing and accepting rape culture as an issue is the fact that it’s underrepresented and laced with heavy skepticism. Many people already have very warped views of what exactly rape is and any other form of sexual assault for that matter; particularly young men of my own generation.  Rape and sexual assault is seemingly a fact of life, a truth that can’t be escaped when the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that one in five women have been raped in their lifetime. A mindboggling statistic born out of a national telephone survey of about 16,500 adults in which surveyors extracted information on types of physical and sexual violence, including rape. Moreover the majority of these sexual assaults and/or rapes fall within the age demographic for women between 17-25 years of age, according to the RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Furthermore the 2008 National Crime Victimization Survey by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, stated more than 75% of the women who reported a rape were under 25 years old at the time of their assault. That being said that age demographic falls largely between young women who are most likely in school or a higher learning institute i.e.: college, university; which comes to the next point, that rape culture tends to be of high incident within colleges and university.

                College campuses of today have garnered a notorious reputation for almost ignoring the severity of sexual assault and rape, becoming one of the largest proprietors of rape culture.  With a multitude of cases in which colleges across the nation have mishandled victims reporting sexual assault and/or rape it’s become a frequent and normal aspect of the college experience. Therefore completely embodying the definition of rape culture to begin with; a society who readily expects rape as a normal and anticipated situation. University of Ottawa, in Canada will be hosting its first annual day of reflection on March 24^th 2014, to commemorate and reflect on sexual violence that’s been occurring on and off their campus. Kalamazoo College in West Michigan is also taking a hands on approach to sexual violence on campus by hosting an annual 3K run each March to spread awareness that we need to support the victim, not blame them. The biggest issue within the college campus’s microcosm is that many college officials aren’t well trained in how to handle sexual assault victims and furthermore almost try to dissuade victims that an actual assault has occurred, rather attempting to sweep it under the rug, rather than create an unnecessary blemish on the school’s reputation. A specific example being a former student of University of Massachusetts Amherst, Angie Epifano whom laid out the horrors of discussing her rape to Amherst officials and administration in which they repeatedly questioned her authenticity. Officials even went as far as to make statements such as, “Are you sure it was rape? It might have just been a bad hookup…You should forgive and forget” and also using other excuses such as being that due to the perpetrator was about to graduate it was pointless to press charges. Now it’s important to remember this is one individuals experience, which of course could harbor some biases but this isn’t some contemporary thought process for college campuses. These schools need to keep up donor funding, high rates of graduation and offer a safe and comfortable environment to students; with stories of rape and assault coming out the wood work, college administrations definitely feel the pressure to sweep certain issues under the rug. And this is how you move to the issue of victim bashing within the concept of rape culture. Using the previous example stated, Epifano states officials and administrators, tried to coerce her into believing it was a consensual sexual experience, or that perhaps she misinterpreted what happened, which is a very common aspect with rape culture; blaming the victim. In 2011 Toronto police officer, Constable Michael Saguinetti suggested at a college roundtable discussing the issue of campus rape that in order for women to remain safe, “…women should avoid dressing like sluts…” asserting that through one’s way of dressing makes them more susceptible to sexual assault. On the other hand some countries in South Asia and into the Middle East have exorbitantly high rates of sexual assault and rape. Ironically enough countries like Saudi Arabia and their geographical neighbor Iraq have laws and codes regulating women’s form of dress, with the use of hijabs, burqas, and veils. However according to the Women Stats Project (2011) Saudi Arabia and surrounding countries are currently facing a rape endemic; due to the taboo believes of rape and overall disregard for it in these countries, statistics are few and limited. This information is being stated to express that there is no correlation between one’s manner of dress and being raped; if that were the case there would be no reports of sexual assaults in these “modest,” Muslim countries. Dressing provocatively doesn’t or shouldn’t make you more susceptible to rape; this is a matter of self-control not one’s way of dressing.  The statement made by Constable Michael Saguinetti, of course was crude and founded off complete ignorance; beliefs like that essentially say to the victim, “this was your fault and in some way you brought this assault on yourself,” which is the furthest thing from the truth. And this is a belief system that many people carry, that sexual assault and rape is partially perpetuated by the victim, almost removing any blame towards the rapist and gearing it towards the person who originally and still is the victim.  

                Furthermore the college campuses of America have also gained notoriety for another aspect of rape culture, date rape culture. Date rape, meaning a sexual assault facilitated through the means of alcohol or sleep inducing drugs has been around since the early 1980s but it was only until wide spread usage of drugs like benzodiazepines and Rohypnol that police noticed the trend of rapes and sexual assaults related to the usage of said drugs. These forced acts became prevalent throughout the 1990s, the majority of which were taking place within downtown club scenes, with relatively young clientele. Before long the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and other state law enforcement officials were forced to crackdown and grasp hold of not only the drugs being used in these attacks but how to tackle the issue of trying to try rapist using drugs to facilitate an assault in a court of law.  As the hysteria of date rape decreased in the early 2000s, it was making a new name for itself in the dark, dank living rooms of frat houses; a fairy dust like substance being dumped into a girl’s drink, a hand slipping around her waist before she completely tumbled over and a trip upstairs, or in the cheap interior of some guy’s car. Rape in of itself has been a serious issue on college campuses for decades now, but as previously stated is an issue that is forcibly concealed.  A report entitled “The Sexual Victimization of College Women” (2000) by the National Institute of Justice (NIJ) which is under the US Department of Justice stated a college with 10,000 students could experience as many as 350 rapes per year. Point in case: sexual violence is a common occurrence on college campus.

                Now on the other hand there is a pool of critics whom don’t believe that rape culture is a concept or even exists for that matter. Christina Hoff Summers, author of the controversial yet highly acclaimed book, "Who Stole Feminism? How Women Have Betrayed Women" (1994) claims rape culture beliefs are based off a flawed study, suggesting that “one in four women do not get sexually assaulted or raped in her lifetime.” While that statistic was generated from a fairly small pool of women surveyed, and there is variation in the ratios as to whether its 1 in 4, 1 in 5, or 1 in 6 women, it doesn't negate the fact that one in four, five or six of those women within the statistic did experience some form of rape and/or sexual assault. In an article entitled “It’s Time to End ‘Rape Culture’ Hysteria” for Time Magazine, written just a few days ago the 20th of March to be exact, Caroline Kitchens, the author suggests that “Though rape is certainly a serious problem, there is no evidence that it’s considered a cultural norm…on college campuses, obsession with eliminating ‘rape culture’ has led to censorship and hysteria.” Yet if 1 in 5 women in the US survive rape or attempted rape, and 1 in 6 men are abused before the age of 18, how is rape culture not a cultural norm? These statistics aren't just generated from a computer and dispensed for societal consumption; they’re real people; the fifth or sixth person respectively that you see walking down the street, or through the student union of a college, leaving a party or a club. Critics of rape culture tend to counter with the belief that rape culture is a hysteria fueled thought movement, and that its media driven with warped statistics and poor, distorted images of what truly occurs on campuses, but the facts state otherwise. Rape and the culture surrounding it was indubitably intensified through heavy media portrayal, and while some will claim that overzealous media created a state of pandemonium, which I won’t refute; it also opened a Pandora box. The extensive media coverage essentially gave those disturbed viewers a “how to” guide on how to administer the drug and then the results there after. But it also allowed society to realize that we had and have a problem on our hands, that isn't going away, that has found its ways into our college campuses, and that is adversely affecting women and possibly some men too.

 No one ever wants to look at the faults of man and society, the blemishes that clout our societal face; we’d rather put on cover-up or hide behind a mask. But when it hits home, when your daughter is shunned from her school like Angie Epifano, her cries for help and justice falling on the deaf ears of society, then it becomes real, somehow the culture and belief you had no opinion a few months ago becomes real, it’s not a joke or a bad dream; its reality. Rape culture is not a laughing matter, and not a falsified one either, the hysteria wasn't generate on a lack of evidence, the hysteria was generated because a multitude of evidence and victims. Rape and the culture surrounding it effects hundreds of thousands of girls who are shunned and ridiculed to save face for colleges and university are real people, and real people make up believes and customs, that make up a culture, our rape culture.

               

All rights reserved 

               

               

The Chase Reloaded

Being that the previous post I wrote was really generated out of pure, raw emotion I wanted to take a more in depth approach to the chase; what it means, is it a mutual activity, who should take the first step…

In my previous post I was specifically discussing my own issue with the chase; finding myself in a position where men were expecting me to make the first move and keep the lines of communication open; text them first, call them first, which as soon as I realized this albeit bizarre pathology I just stopped reaching out to that male all together. If there’s one thing I've learned in my life is that chasing people doesn't make them stay, it makes them run further away from you. I learned that lesson after chasing the first man that showed and allowed me to experience love; my father. Not in any instinctual or illicit sexual manner but he legitimately was the first man who ever loved me, and after an amicable divorce from my mother he moved on accordingly with other people, and for the longest time I chased and begged for his attention and to re-establish the daddy-daughter relationship we once had. But my mother scolded me for this behavior, “…don’t ever chase after a man…” she’d say and eventually I realized he was so far ahead, even if I was sprinting I would never catch up to him; I would always be chasing. From that point to today I feel I could never do it again; chase after a man, I stopped chasing after the most important man in my life so I’m definitely not going to chase a male who has some sort of confidence issue and gets off on women messaging and calling, receiving some ego boost because someone cares enough to reach out to him.

And in talking to other people they discuss fluid gender roles and how there’s no issue with a woman asking a man out or a man asking a woman out, which I agree with. We’re in evolutionary period where I don’t think the woman taking the first step is as taboo, or desperate as it might have been perceived in years past. But this has nothing to with fluid gender roles and equality it’s an issue of manners and etiquette. Women who want to take the reins, more power to them but that doesn't negate or invalidate a population of women who might want a man to take the first step; I don’t mind power exchanges, I’ll take the reins in a mutual situation too, so it’s not one sided; but lately I feel like that’s all I run into, men waiting for me to take their hand and lead the way… give me a break, and I don’t mean that to alienate men but I don’t want to your mother, especially when you’re older than me…I guess the whole with years come wisdom is specific to a minute percentage of the population.

In this evolving society it seems that the definition of a man has been lost in translation…the principals and weight carried along with the title of being a man has been all but removed. And the argument can be made that we live in a society that emasculate the man but that doesn't mean you have to fall victim, being stripped of any masculinity you have.

The stereotypical roles of men being the breadwinner, the head of the household, and the only one who climbs the corporate ladder are over, I don’t agree with them and they are completely alienating and disrespectful to the abilities of women, no doubt. But in the previous expert taken from my last post there needs to be an understanding that gender equality isn't suppose emasculate the man, and that seems to be what has happened. The principals and weight of being gallant and respectful, being a decent male, those are not to be forgotten, and sadly they have; raising boys as masculine, beastly men? No. But as humans, as adults that still harbor chivalry and respect. Present day guys trying to pass as men but without the know how on approaching women, or how to be respectful. It’s mortifying and frankly I go as far as to say it’s an epidemic. I’m not saying there aren't decent guys out there, because there are but they've been overshadowed by a generation of men who have no idea how to be just that, a man.  

The chase is a vital part of the courting process, and I don’t mean hunting the individual down, but a desire, actively seeking the individual…I mean if that’s not happening, unless it strictly hooking up with no strings that’s a situation that doesn't sound like it’ll be metastasizing into anything more than a game of cat and mouse. And I've done that with enough guys to not want to anymore.

And now I can breathe…

Please excuse how late this post is!

The Chase

You expect me to chase you?

Just a quick blurb for thought but lately I've come across this issue: Men, grown men expecting me to chase after them. In this ever evolving, modern society we live in many things have changed from the definitions of family and marriage to the ever increasing technologies we have at our fingertips; that being said there seems to be this new wave of thought on how courting should take place in this modern world. And it seems as though role reversal is the mantra of this generation…where women need to take the reins and seek men out. And I have no issue with a woman who knows what she wants and is confident enough to go after it, but personally speaking I usually let it come to me, and recently I noticed once it comes to be and I begin conversing with the individual I’m apparently supposed to keep the lines of communication open at all times…call him first, text him first, suggest this and that, as if I’m trying to start a relationship on my own. Pish Posh!! Give me a break, I don’t care if it’s 2014, common courtesy does not go out the window, I’m not saying you have to run me down on a constant basis but at least give me an idea that you actually want to hear from me, that you give two craps about my well-being…it’s a two street. Neither party should continually have to reach out; if there’s a mutual attraction shouldn't it come from both ends? And then male friends and counterparts always make the argument that their tired of chasing after women, and yeah you have some run of the mill girls who just want to be showered with compliments by any means necessary but that doesn't negate the population of women who desire the respect of a man taking the first step…idk a man being a man perhaps? In this evolving society it seems that the definition of a man has been lost in translation…the principals and weight carried along with the title of being a man has been all but removed. And the argument can be made that we live in a society that emasculate the man but that doesn't mean you have to fall victim, being stripped of any masculinity you have. Perhaps somewhere, someone doesn't even find this to be an issue, but as a woman it makes my stomach churn and I just needed to get that off my chest.  I will never chase down a man, it’s completely unorthodox and unbecoming; and here comes the importance of realizing your own worth as an individual, I know some females who will jump before a guy even says “how high” and that is the result of a failure to see yourself and what you deserve as a woman, as a human being.

*waving my white flag*

#blurbforthought

Thoughts?

Feminism: Black Feminism? (2)

http://pussypowerinfluence.blogspot.com/2014/01/feminism-black-feminism.html

So it has now become readily apparent that in writing my last entry(link above), there was no way the paradox box of race I so desperately wanted to leave closed can stay that way…and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I just think I assumed it would be easier, or less controversial to not discuss, to ignore the role race plays in feminism because at least from my perspective it seems to be a pretty taboo topic. And before I really get into this post I definitely want to thank a fellow feminist and moderator on the feminist page; you of course know who you are and I thank you for challenging me in my earlier post, for asking questions and therefore forcing me to generate responses and get a better grasp of what my position was and why I had it. Being a novice to this blogosphere of feminism has been a challenge no doubt and I appreciate receiving vital criticism of my posts.

I think to kick this post of I want to give black feminism a little more credit. Not because I completely agree with their beliefs but I wrote that initial post from a perspective of not completely taking the time to understanding what black women face. I was more into discussing that all black women aren't necessarily down on their luck and economically disenfranchised since I’m not and I failed to take myself out of the equation and give the struggles of other black women and women in general credit and merit. I still know people who weren't given the best hand in life, have heard stories about different struggles and that’s something I can speak too. It’s wrong of me to dismiss black feminism because frankly there speaking to struggles that mainstream feminism doesn't…  

But as I questioned in my last post how well their getting that message to a mainstream black female audience, is questionable and I’m not recanting that skepticism I have of the movement.

Furthermore black feminism became widely known in the 1970s…now fast-forward to 2014, and it simply isn't at the peak it once was and those black women that started the movement like Alice Walker, writer of The Color Purple, Angela Davis, Frances M. Beale don’t necessarily hold the positions they held some thirty years ago. Those women along with many other black feminist of their time did their rightly duty, went above and beyond for the black feminist movement, now it’s time for a new generation to, pick up arms, to continue what they started and sadly I don’t think that’s happening; therefore making black feminism become somewhat of an allusion, a novel with no pages that has failed to actually reach its current audience, it’s 2014 audience therefore leaving unknowing black women to the possible contribute the movement can offer, the sense of upliftment and empowerment...a sense of unity in knowing these struggles aren't specific to them; that their not alone.  Black feminism can contribute, but in order to contribute you have to reach the audience you claim to speak for, because if not, are you truly speaking for them?

What irked me about black feminism was that I felt it was a succession from mainstream feminism therefore making black feminism an even smaller speck on the spectrum, getting even less attention now when removing itself from mainstream feminism.

And I feel as though black feminism is also very exclusionary of black women like myself, well off I suppose would be an adequate terminology. Originally I questioned since I was black and a feminist did that automatically make me a black feminist, which it doesn't because it doesn't seem that I’m taken into account; I didn't necessarily grow up with the same struggles, I’m seen as the uppity black that can’t relate, and although I might not be able to empathize I can sure sympathize and understand that their struggle is not for the swift but those who endure to the end. And though I haven’t experienced what they have, I've still had my fair share of struggles, it’s not like I don’t need upliftment and support because I’m a little different; if you’re going to have an institution designed to uplift the black woman it can’t exclude certain black women, that’s just splitting hairs.

The fact of the matter is mainstream feminism is white feminism. There doesn't need to be a white feminist movement because the majority of modern day feminism is run by white females, it’s an inevitable truth; something that became quite apparent as I went back and forth with that fellow feminist. And white feminist have different desires, different aspirations, and that’s fine…gaining positions of power, finally attaining salary equality to men…worthy causes, causes that I personally am very thankful for no doubt but these aspirations are not necessarily realistic to all women’s lifestyles and cultures. The movement faces internal struggles most of which seem to be swept under the proverbial rug of feminism and I think we should incorporate the struggle(s) we face internally, we focus so much on making .70 cents to the dollar of men but there are huge disparages in the salaries of white women versus salaries of women of color.

Is that not important?

This is something I feel is quite pertinent and it makes me respect black feminism more, if something is not being done for you, sometimes you have to do it for yourself; and I see this breaking away of black feminists from mainstream feminism as a direct response to not being acknowledge. In order to be a functioning unit and institution we need to expose issues that affect us, affect women; we’re fighting for this and against that and there are so many internal mishaps, which are just shooed away, why not open the paradox box, that’s my new mantra…however controversial it may be, I realize my kitchen can handle this heat because it’s positive to the growth of this incredible institution that needs to incorporate every woman, not just exclusively working for some. And I do commend women of the movement currently, because I think we all hope that the doors they are working to open will be held for my generations; for me. I respect what's currently being done in the third wave of feminism, but of course there's always room for improvement…it’s time to bring these issues to the forefront, demand attention, to generate change. And I’m not naïve enough to think it’ll happen overnight but maybe over time it can at least change a little…

   

Feminism: Black Feminism?

I’m Feminist and I’m black.

It recently was revealed to me in reading a race and feminist related article that black feminism is an actual sub-genre in the world of feminism and in the blogosphere in general. Prior to me starting this blog I had never really come across the title and/or belief system, and in all my posts I never really felt the injection of race was ever necessary; I wrote/write about experiences and opinions I felt/feel equally played out for women in general, not particular sects or races. And with some research and reading of some proclaimed black feminist I can understand  the distinction of black feminism, I realize the differences that they’re arguing, but I guess I never really faced those issues hence why I never did or really could discuss them. I see their premise being the struggles faced by black women in some way or another overshadow and are more intense than that of their white counterparts but that in general is a very perspective and person specific baseline. And yes in certain cases you do have disparaging differences between races as far as economic, social and familial structure go, thus creating new struggles, which is an inevitable truth. Furthermore the wealth gap between blacks and whites has nearly tripled in the last quarter century, in favor of whites and wealth usually being the determining factor for all other factions of lifestyle like education for example does create an issue. That being said I do understand that maybe in more than just a few cases; in a lot of cases black women face different or perhaps a bit more strenuous situations. Now this is not to say you can’t find poverty stricken families of other races and that other families aren't struggling to make ends meet; and that’s what I want to make clear, the censuses only go so far; those stats aren't all inclusive of every families struggle, those charts don’t incorporate everyone’s situation,  whether they’re black or white.

As it goes for myself I don’t see my life struggle any harder than I would of a white, 18 year female with the same socioeconomic upbringing and family structure as I have. I live in an upper middle class town, an hour from NYC, and more than half of my town’s demographic is white. And I think that inherently  puts me at odds of truly understanding and empathizing not sympathizing with black feminist. Frankly when I first heard the terminology I thought, “Well here’s another example of race further dividing a people rather than unifying over the simple desire of gender equality.”

And then it occurred that being black do I know fall under the label of: black feminist? Am I supposed to pick up arms and take on this new sub-culture’s battle cry? And I mean I genuinely think I can’t, I simply have no understanding or ties to this particular genre of women. Yes, my complexion is dark but I don’t know what it’s like to struggle in the black community because I never lived there, I wasn't raised or reared there. Class oppression, economic and educational disenfranchisement, finding yourself unattractive or less than because of your dark pigment…those issues aren't my issues and I’m not saying that I don’t care and that I don’t want to help alter these situations for the better, but it’s very difficult for me to completely understand them not going through the experience. I do want the option of decent education offered to every person: black, white, Hispanics, Asian, or otherwise and I do want to change impoverished and crime ridden communities and neighborhoods, these are all things I desire but I’d be lying if I said they were on the forefront of my mind. And it’s not even that I can’t relate to the community and the issues as much as I don’t think I should try and act like I've lived there and that I know that lifestyle. Because in large sense doing that, acting like I've been there and I know the pain and the difficulties, almost trivialize the point(s) and the situation(s) that black feminist  deem as major issues for black women.  They’re certain things taken away from experiences, that are only gotten via the actually experience, some stories can be told but others have to be lived and I realized that just because I’m black doesn't automatically enter me into the black feminist organization.

I want female equality for all females whether black or white.

Straight or gay.

Rich or poor.

Literate or illiterate.

Whether you have a degree or not you know as a person the treatment you deserve and the respect you desire. For me I’m not going to bring race into this blog if I don’t have too, it’s simply a paradox box of political and racial debates that are too hot for my kitchen(lol). And I am of course willing to bring publicity and notoriety to causes that need it, and if they so happen to be geared towards a certain race or ethnicity then so be it, if we’re going to come together as a gender and achieve equality it would be remiss to leave women behind.

In writing this post and taking time to grasp the ideologies of black feminism I understand and acknowledge its existence but I think it’ll take me a bit longer to truly respect its value and appreciate what it’s doing for feminism as a whole, if anything. And I question how much it actually offers to the average black woman, who probably has no knowledge of black feminism, and what it claims to provide, so it’s a very slippery slope.

As always these are personal opinions of my own and are in no way written to defame, disrespect, or trivialize any persons or institutes that might have been acknowledge within the post.

Mistakes

Your growth in life is dictated by your ability to reflect, and your ability to cohesively take the most pertinent information and lessons from your past without getting stuck there. Lessons are derived from mistakes, these inevitable experiences that make life, lived.

I haven’t taken much time to respect my blog with all the holidays and finals that have plagued life currently, but I was still thinking about what I wanted to write, if anything. What would I want to explore after my mini hiatus. And it came to me in a lecture after receiving an exam and looking at a few mistakes I had made, that this post, this entrance back into my blogging life would begin with mistakes. The making, the fallout, and the learning received from mistakes. I've been on this earth for nearly twenty years now and mistakes and subsequent lessons have afflicted them. But I don’t use the word afflicted to express a disdain to the experience, mistakes are necessary life experiences that are constantly deemed as bad when there purpose is to enlighten one’s life. It’s a perspective specific understanding, and for pessimistic people perhaps they want to believe that mistakes are always bad; but that’s just not true.

Sitting there mistake began to take on this magnanimous definition as I started to think about it in a larger, deeper context. Mistakes I made as a kid, as a human, as a girl, that I’m currently making; it was overwhelming but the thought that consumed me the most was how I didn't want those mistakes that I made for my future daughter(s), for my future children in general (this post being within my feminist blog, is why it’s geared towards girls; not to exclude any guys), for any girls that gets the opportunity to read this post, or meet me. Blood or not I didn't want to think that the cringing sensation I felt sitting in that lecture hall as I relieved my most foolish mistakes would be lived by some unknowing girl.  I’m tired of stepping on my fellow wo[man] when there down, I feel as though were almost taught in the subject of belittling one another and tearing them down.

I’m done.

Learn from my mistakes instead of being stupid enough to make the same ones. You know that feeling when you’re thinking about something and it just triggers a memory; and it’s not living in regret it’s just a trigger to your past and it’s like relieving this embarrassing, debilitating experience that I can’t understand why I did it, frankly I didn't know who I was, which was largely why I did it. Looking for attention from people who had their own ulterior motives, desperate to fit into a crowd that society should have never put on a pedestal. Sometimes I even emit the strongest of feelings; hate. Hate towards myself more than anything, and I hate that too. I’m trying to pay it forward rather than be on standby and watch someone else make that mistake. And I realize that some mistakes are necessary and destined to be made but that’s not a true all.

I wasn't always a feminist, but I was always human. I write this post specifically appealing to the female youths that will come behind me. It’s never too early to be the example, but sometimes it can be too late. I write often about pride and self-worth, particularly in young women but it’s an acquired knowledge. No one comes out the gate with this full understanding of: who they are, what they are, and the abilities they harbor. It’s an anomaly. It’s a growing process that through the making of mistakes and through the growing as a person you will eventually realize who you are as a person. And I want to make that clear, it’s not an overnight process, it’s an evolutionary one.  

You’ll be ever evolving as a person but knowing your core principals and beliefs is what sustains who you are as a person; and your ability to evolve is based on what you take from your experiences; from your mistakes. If you take all the bad, all the negative from your mistakes rather than trying to find the lesson, then you’ll never go anywhere, you will never evolve. But if you take a minute to look at the situation from every angle rather than the most negative, jaded position you’ll realize that there’s more to a mistake then the error made but that there’s actually some valuable aspects you can take from it. Think of it as thrift shopping; a lot of times it’s a huge

 mass of clothing, and you have to sort through the racks and piles to find those gems, that perfect flannel shirt, or throwback Hammer time pants… and just leave the rest. I  

lol from Hammer to Harem

 can’t say I've enjoyed making mistakes, or at least I haven’t enjoyed most of them, but they were worth it to get to the best Imani I can be and now I’m going to hold the door open, open for our future.

One of my favorite Fiona Apple songs...her view on mistakes, which I enjoy...sort of Amy Winehouse-esq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pokyLl-633o

Feminism Poem

I am woman hear me roar, no hear me, I’m right here

Blood stains on the wall

I’m here is my presence worth nothing?  Does my assertiveness not scare you at all?

I am the gorgeous creation from our mother Eve, and I want to speak for the women here

We are not things for you confused individuals

We are not robots, and we don’t say “how high” if someone dare say the word “jump”

I think particularly of the young girls I encounter, confused of their worth

Disrespected, ill-treated, disregarded

Treatment they find okay? Is this the generation of today?

My mind spins, the surface murky please look at your sweet face

It glints back at you, an allusion of oculatory suspense

Understand that’s not how he should speak to you, dare him to hit you, and challenge him to respect you

You own the confidence of yourself; you are the holder of the master key that opens your pride, self-regard and dignity

These words flow from my mouth, extend to my keyboard and yet I still myself fail to take heed to the wisdom that spews from the inner consciousness of myself...

-Imani Seymour

Pathetic Tactics of a College Guy

Men are adults who sometimes act like dogs, young men are dogs, and boys are puppies.

The guys you’re meeting in college fall under the category of young men: dogs. This is not to disrespect or denounce men, young men either, but I’m here. I see it. And by George I’m blogging about it.

Pathetic Tactics of a College Guy:

1.      Roll up to the scene with his ceiling meaning, i.e.: attempting to woo you with his lack of charm and severely acne covered face. He calls you “beautiful,” says all the right things…to you and YOUR friends because getting in good with the females you surround yourself with only makes for better standings when all the girls gossip about him later. 
2.    Meet the boys. Now it’s time for you to meet his crew, so now they too can gossip but now about you and pretty much let him know whether or not you’re worthy his time, and anatomy. Usually done in a causal setting like a party, perhaps a late night dinner, or an evening of smoking/drinking. Whatever your vice or scene he wants his boys okay…unless you’re going to be the fuck buddy he hits and then forces to leave at 3am before sunrise.
3. Sleepover PG-13 addition. You've moved up to a sleepover; but usually you don’t come over under the premise of a sleepover but this night, suddenly he wants deep conversation…intellectual or otherwise. He wants to “know” the girl he’s been fawning after (LOL) who you are, your moral code, which usually will be a good indicator of how far you’re willing to go sexually too. You hang with the guys again, as they get a better view of you in a better lit room, perhaps you even bring over some girlfriends to even out the playing field and offer some comfort so you’re not totally this new guy. And after all this conversation, and possibly food if he has some, I mean damn at least some water, it has suddenly become too late for you to go home and he’s simply too god awful tired to walk you home [insert body in bed]. “You can sleep here tonight.” The fatal words that solidify your location for the next several hours. He’ll be sweet and nice, and offer you half his bed, a shirt to sleep in, and a toilet to piss in. After all it’s just two friends sleeping in a bed together…
4. The OFFICIAL sleepover. Now he has officially invited you to his place of residence, otherwise known as a 12’x12’ dorm room. Odds are he’s gotten too ballsy to even pick you up from your dormitory hall and you make the trek alone. You get there and he seems more douchbaggier than
   
   ever, he’s under the impression he’s going to get some tonight, and in some cases he will. He’ll attempt to entertain you with some mindless, mundane activity, like tv before taking it to the bedroom. Some more mindless gibberish will come out his loose lips and before you know it he’s putting on the moves fast and furiously. Kissing, making out, he’ll probably want to be orally copulated, which probably won’t be given in return, and I mean if he can get a home run he’ll try it too! But odds are the buck will stop at his own satisfaction and he’ll proceed to pass out after his physical expression of pleasure. 
5. The OFFICIAL sleepover: R rated addition. Now this is the           second option within the OFFICIAL  sleepover. After oral is received by the male participant, he might be ready for the main course.  (Oral was just an appetizer, the Hors d’oeuvre if you will) Anyways he goes in for the catch and hopefully has some form of protection, some guys are less inclined to wear any, and other guys actually realize their in college to get a degree not bring home a bouncing bundle of unwarranted and undesired bliss. But let the in flagrante delicto ensue, and after the humping, groaning, and moaning, it’s over, and he’ll  proceed to pass out after his physical expression of pleasure. Depending on how good it was, this  action might happen a few more times on different occasions before he deems you boring and the process will start all over again with another unknowing participant. Although some females know exactly what their getting into others, usually freshman claim they have an understanding of the situation but being in a dark room within such tight proximity and hard objects around soon realize they had a very distorted understanding of the situation they had dug themselves into.

And that in a nut shell is the tactics young men will use in an attempt to increase their “body” count
Again this is an opinion of my own, based off experiences I've observed and witnessed, so don’t hate me!

Feminism: Feminist?

Feminism – the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. Prominence arose during the French and American revolutions in the late 18^th century.

Derived from the French word: feminisme

-New Oxford Dictionary

                I feel as though there’s looseness as to how the word feminism is used and how the tittle of feminist is applied.

Being in college I've notice a new wave of young women rallying in the name of feminism and identifying by it, and that’s great. Beyond the educational experience one should be getting from college it’s hands down the most formative years for the future individual you will be; the person you’re becoming. An aspect of this growth process will of course be dedicated to one’s sexuality, and for some women (and men, but for the purpose of this post it’s strictly women) that means going through this almost explorative experience with multiple male or female partners, which I’m not condemning. But then these same young women identify as feminist after the walk of shame they shuffled through earlier that same day; and that confused me.

 You don’t just “put on” feminism or being feminist when it’s convenient for you and “take it off” after you've finished your charade. Feminism or being a feminist is a thought process, a mindset, a movement of advocacy. This misconception that one can be feminist when it’s fitting at that appointed time is a complete oxymoron. Being a feminist as far as I’m concerned is a very admirable tittle that unfortunately tends to get a bad reputation.

This new trending belief system (odds are it’s been around, but simply closeted) that one can be a feminist in the day and whoring around in the night is very unorthodox to me. Granted it’s a very touchy subject;  the relationship between feminism and sexual tendencies.; and there is a fine line between observing and realizing your sexuality as a woman…after all pussy power is the main title of this blog. And I advocate the understanding of one’s self to the fullest extent, that including your sexuality and what it harbors and possibly benefits in your life. But if your habitats include laying your worth down at the wayside for the first cat-call of the evening…I mean if you even respond to cat-calls as a woman in general, whether you identify as a feminist or not, is a serious problem.

Nevertheless my point is not to reign down some doctrine on how women should behave, sexually or otherwise, but don’t claim something you aren't. How can I take you seriously if I know your respect for yourself concludes at the different door you enter each night? Now again, I am not saying “Oh all feminist should be the reincarnated Mother Teresa.”

This is merely one person’s opinion; mine. And although this blog is fairly new my beliefs are not. I am not saying this is applicable to every young woman/woman feminist or otherwise but simply something seen in my experience thus far.

Attaining equality has and never will be easy; we started this crusade for rights over three centuries ago and the fight is still ongoing. That should speak volumes in of itself. I mean please have your sex, enjoy It too because being a feminist doesn't mean a loss of sexual freedom rather the gaining of freedom through the understanding of the worth you have as a woman.

Phew…I think I’m done lol

Blog Update:

I've noticed as of late that this blog has quickly evolved into more of an avenue that really explores feminism, rather than my original intention to explore the power of pussy…and I like that.  I guess it is become multifold if you will, and I think I want to equally dedicate opinions and thoughts to both because believe it or not, realizing that your femininity is power in itself is knowledge. I believe the two are closely related but the latter tends to be more of a taboo topic, which I hope to change. Please stay tuned to new and upcoming posts that will either incorporate or be directly related to either the power of pussy or feminism, whether it be a certain aspect or a more broad post discussing feminism overall.

Blog updates are simply messages written from myself directly to my readers informing of new changes and/or updates. These updates are in no way related to the post it is attached too and our solely designed to inform of changes occurring in regard to the blog.

Modern Day Feminism

Firstly I wanted to give thanks to my viewers and those following! We reached over 100 views just before the first week anniversary! This is a huge accomplishment for me and it’s a true testament to myself, that what I’m doing is worth it.  

I had been thinking about how this blog metastasized into this unique channel to discuss feminism and the thought occurred: Just what is modern day feminism? Or who are modern day feminists? 

Mega music star Beyoncé used the terminology in a recent interview:

Beyoncé is a singer, actress, businesswoman and mother, and in a new interview, the multi-talented 31-year-old calls herself a "modern-day feminist." "I do believe in equality. Why do you have to choose what type of woman you are?" she (Beyoncé) told the British version of Vogue.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/beyonce-calls-herself-a-modern-day-feminist-20130403#ixzz2jQSyZESO

But I questioned, do I even consider Beyonce to be a modern day feminist, or was that her own ill chose label..

In my last post I discussed the transformation feminism or the symbols and individuals that represent the ideology have transformed, and what it currently is for my generation. Feminism does have an overarching definition but throughout time, like all things it has evolved into three waves. But I haven’t truly taken the time to give fair discussion to what modern day feminism is, and what that phrasing incorporates that differentiates from good ole’ feminism.

I sort of see feminism as two ways in this current day and age. You’re standard stuck up white, baton-up-her-ass, old woman that sort of embodies old feminism but might allow some components of modern feminism in her thought process. 

And then you have the bitchin, fairly rude, sexy, I- don’t-need-no-man-don’t-want-no-man, modern day feminist who wants to debate and fight you on every bloody point they find to be right. I’m not saying this is the only modern day feminist you’ll find but a large portion of women seem to have taken the ideologies of feminism and transformed it into this taking up of arms, and bickering of “Oh I don’t need a man.” “Fuck patriarchy.” Or the lovely hashtag that I've noticed in passing other modern day feminist blogs…#killallmen. I wish I could say I was lying but feel free to search the hashtag and shake your head in disgust of these particular individuals.

That’s simply never what feminism was about; whether it is modern day feminism or classical; it’s all defined the same as the upliftment and power of women, NOT at the expense of degrading men.  Yes we were originally fighting oppression that was generated at the hands of men but that doesn't mean we start degrading and disrespecting in return.

The movement was started, at least in the Western world out of women’s suffrage; simply trying to get small rights like: women having reproductive rights instead of producing children every 9 months, being able to actually go to the police and not get kicked out on their ass when they explain to authorities that there spouse just beat or sexually assaulted them. (Both topics still needing severe ratification; 1 in 4 women have and will experience domestic violence usually at the hands of a spouse or intimate partner. Furthermore many countries still don’t recognize spousal/marital rape as actual rape.)  I mean arguably that’s where most feminist movements throughout the world regardless of region start; women attempting to get control of their own bodies; of their body’s reproduction and receive some level of respect.

I think the bigger issue at hand is what are feminist of today, modern day feminist fighting for? What is there cause exactly? Because all I notice is a whole bunch of arguing on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, about topics of no merit, like why women shouldn't make sandwiches anymore. It’s not about any unity or coming togetherness and it leaves me questioning what kind of feminist I fall under; by default I’m in the third wave (feminism is sectioned off in three waves, identifying time periods and struggles throughout) but do I truly want to be classified as a modern day feminist?

I’m not here to fight to the death about my opinion; I’m simply here to offer it. To discuss women’s worth, and if along the way I can offer a glimmer of light or finally allow a woman to realize she’s more than her lady parts, that’s great too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiqmZLOaD8o

Team Women

Team Humanity

Women

So I was discussing with a friend this blog; its birth and how it had begun.

Frankly it was a realization of female power based on the anatomy we are inherited. She told me it was a contradiction due to the fact that I choose to use the word pussy.

Pussy is granted a very crass word, but it isn't meant to degrade women in any way, shape, or form. And Vagina Power just didn't have the same twang. ..well not to me.

As a woman you’re power is hardly subjected to your lady parts; its power found all throughout us as individuals. What makes women powerful?  

The ability to put your all into everything and keep from complaining. Going after what you want in life.

Respecting yourself and others; realizing your worth and not thinking the buck stops between your legs.

Speaking up against wrong doing, speaking up for you; for yourself.

The inspiration you fuel in other women around you. I’m not saying, “Oh you need to be the next Oprah..” Inspiration can be right within in your home to the daughters and sons those of us raise. To the girl down the street or a young girl who doesn’t have an inspirational focus.

At the end of the day making a change in your life; in your family; in your community; in our world. And that will only help to enhance your own life. Powerful women fill this world; recognition is sadly few and far in between but it doesn't negate the fact that we inhabit this world. 

This blog was designed to discuss the power aspect we harbor, and I could easily create a contrasting blog about the power men have in regards to women, or other men if that happens to be the case.

Women are powerful and worth it. Not because of anatomy, because of everything they do; everything they represent.  But their anatomy does help the cause; a super power if you will. SO this blog isn't designed to disrespect any woman, if anything it’s an avenue for feminist power to be heard and perhaps seen from a perspective that is easier for my demographic to understand.

Feminism of today, for my generation tends to be masked in this stuck up, middle aged, graying, white skinned, baton up her ass type woman, and that doesn't have to be the case. Feminism is advocacy of rights for every and all women. We don’t have a Rosie the Riveter of my generation; she’s just a figure in a textbook.

 Sadly girls have other things, (I find it quite difficult to use the word woman, or female for some of these over publicized individuals) anyway these people are just over sexualized Barbies who use their anatomy as the premise for their entire cause. Whether it is music, acting, dancing; all three..even though most of these celebrities can’t execute one much less all three. Names aren't necessary as I’m sure we all know some so called female celebrity that gives a bad name to women anywhere.

I am a woman. And I love women. I respect women.

#feminism

 

This does not mean I hate my male readers lol, it's a joke!! :)

https://soundcloud.com/purplepr/beyonce-run-the-world-girls

Well women, not girls...but you get the gist! 

When Did you Realize the Power of Pussy?

After the last post I questioned when I truly realized the power of pussy. The power of female anatomy.

I think I was probably 12, it was fifth grade. There was this girl named Briana who, for her age incredibly well developed, even I envied her. Puberty was doing her a ton of favors. Anyways she wasn't the brightest intellectually but apparently that wasn't too much of an issue either. With her snug little Abercrombie top she strode through the class to little Peter so and so. A male of distinct lack of physical appearance and popularity was simply flabbergasted to even be conversing with her. We had some silly diorama assignment due, we all had to make a germ; I remember that. I was an infectious disease specialist; I made a 3 dimensional bacteria!(Shout out to my mom, lol she has amazing abilities with clay)

Within about five minutes of the one sided conversation that was simply Briana's motormouth going nonstop while Peter sat stupefied, she had someone to not only be her partner but execute the entire project.

Like this girl was 12. How did she even have an understanding of what she was doing?

I questioned what abilities she possessed to even achieve such a rapid and effective response.

That's when I knew we as girls at the time; now women had super powers. Lol the overstatement of the year? I think not

While there is a dual relationship to this situation, males do own their own power; penis power.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bqg_ceFM30I
If you didn't already watch this video from my last post please do.

Predator mode!!!

Its a definitely a dual language if you will; but I feel as though women realize their inherited power before their male counterparts. I'm sure Briana has been making a killing through life utilizing her power(s), I'm not exactly sure how beneficial that will be to her life on a whole, but for now and until then I suppose she'll use what she has to the best of her ability~ 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7kxTPbB4S4

Lol I had too.
Iggy Pop