The Chase Reloaded

Being that the previous post I wrote was really generated out of pure, raw emotion I wanted to take a more in depth approach to the chase; what it means, is it a mutual activity, who should take the first step…

In my previous post I was specifically discussing my own issue with the chase; finding myself in a position where men were expecting me to make the first move and keep the lines of communication open; text them first, call them first, which as soon as I realized this albeit bizarre pathology I just stopped reaching out to that male all together. If there’s one thing I've learned in my life is that chasing people doesn't make them stay, it makes them run further away from you. I learned that lesson after chasing the first man that showed and allowed me to experience love; my father. Not in any instinctual or illicit sexual manner but he legitimately was the first man who ever loved me, and after an amicable divorce from my mother he moved on accordingly with other people, and for the longest time I chased and begged for his attention and to re-establish the daddy-daughter relationship we once had. But my mother scolded me for this behavior, “…don’t ever chase after a man…” she’d say and eventually I realized he was so far ahead, even if I was sprinting I would never catch up to him; I would always be chasing. From that point to today I feel I could never do it again; chase after a man, I stopped chasing after the most important man in my life so I’m definitely not going to chase a male who has some sort of confidence issue and gets off on women messaging and calling, receiving some ego boost because someone cares enough to reach out to him.

And in talking to other people they discuss fluid gender roles and how there’s no issue with a woman asking a man out or a man asking a woman out, which I agree with. We’re in evolutionary period where I don’t think the woman taking the first step is as taboo, or desperate as it might have been perceived in years past. But this has nothing to with fluid gender roles and equality it’s an issue of manners and etiquette. Women who want to take the reins, more power to them but that doesn't negate or invalidate a population of women who might want a man to take the first step; I don’t mind power exchanges, I’ll take the reins in a mutual situation too, so it’s not one sided; but lately I feel like that’s all I run into, men waiting for me to take their hand and lead the way… give me a break, and I don’t mean that to alienate men but I don’t want to your mother, especially when you’re older than me…I guess the whole with years come wisdom is specific to a minute percentage of the population.

In this evolving society it seems that the definition of a man has been lost in translation…the principals and weight carried along with the title of being a man has been all but removed. And the argument can be made that we live in a society that emasculate the man but that doesn't mean you have to fall victim, being stripped of any masculinity you have.

The stereotypical roles of men being the breadwinner, the head of the household, and the only one who climbs the corporate ladder are over, I don’t agree with them and they are completely alienating and disrespectful to the abilities of women, no doubt. But in the previous expert taken from my last post there needs to be an understanding that gender equality isn't suppose emasculate the man, and that seems to be what has happened. The principals and weight of being gallant and respectful, being a decent male, those are not to be forgotten, and sadly they have; raising boys as masculine, beastly men? No. But as humans, as adults that still harbor chivalry and respect. Present day guys trying to pass as men but without the know how on approaching women, or how to be respectful. It’s mortifying and frankly I go as far as to say it’s an epidemic. I’m not saying there aren't decent guys out there, because there are but they've been overshadowed by a generation of men who have no idea how to be just that, a man.  

The chase is a vital part of the courting process, and I don’t mean hunting the individual down, but a desire, actively seeking the individual…I mean if that’s not happening, unless it strictly hooking up with no strings that’s a situation that doesn't sound like it’ll be metastasizing into anything more than a game of cat and mouse. And I've done that with enough guys to not want to anymore.

And now I can breathe…

Please excuse how late this post is!

Feminism: Black Feminism? (2)

http://pussypowerinfluence.blogspot.com/2014/01/feminism-black-feminism.html

So it has now become readily apparent that in writing my last entry(link above), there was no way the paradox box of race I so desperately wanted to leave closed can stay that way…and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I just think I assumed it would be easier, or less controversial to not discuss, to ignore the role race plays in feminism because at least from my perspective it seems to be a pretty taboo topic. And before I really get into this post I definitely want to thank a fellow feminist and moderator on the feminist page; you of course know who you are and I thank you for challenging me in my earlier post, for asking questions and therefore forcing me to generate responses and get a better grasp of what my position was and why I had it. Being a novice to this blogosphere of feminism has been a challenge no doubt and I appreciate receiving vital criticism of my posts.

I think to kick this post of I want to give black feminism a little more credit. Not because I completely agree with their beliefs but I wrote that initial post from a perspective of not completely taking the time to understanding what black women face. I was more into discussing that all black women aren't necessarily down on their luck and economically disenfranchised since I’m not and I failed to take myself out of the equation and give the struggles of other black women and women in general credit and merit. I still know people who weren't given the best hand in life, have heard stories about different struggles and that’s something I can speak too. It’s wrong of me to dismiss black feminism because frankly there speaking to struggles that mainstream feminism doesn't…  

But as I questioned in my last post how well their getting that message to a mainstream black female audience, is questionable and I’m not recanting that skepticism I have of the movement.

Furthermore black feminism became widely known in the 1970s…now fast-forward to 2014, and it simply isn't at the peak it once was and those black women that started the movement like Alice Walker, writer of The Color Purple, Angela Davis, Frances M. Beale don’t necessarily hold the positions they held some thirty years ago. Those women along with many other black feminist of their time did their rightly duty, went above and beyond for the black feminist movement, now it’s time for a new generation to, pick up arms, to continue what they started and sadly I don’t think that’s happening; therefore making black feminism become somewhat of an allusion, a novel with no pages that has failed to actually reach its current audience, it’s 2014 audience therefore leaving unknowing black women to the possible contribute the movement can offer, the sense of upliftment and empowerment...a sense of unity in knowing these struggles aren't specific to them; that their not alone.  Black feminism can contribute, but in order to contribute you have to reach the audience you claim to speak for, because if not, are you truly speaking for them?

What irked me about black feminism was that I felt it was a succession from mainstream feminism therefore making black feminism an even smaller speck on the spectrum, getting even less attention now when removing itself from mainstream feminism.

And I feel as though black feminism is also very exclusionary of black women like myself, well off I suppose would be an adequate terminology. Originally I questioned since I was black and a feminist did that automatically make me a black feminist, which it doesn't because it doesn't seem that I’m taken into account; I didn't necessarily grow up with the same struggles, I’m seen as the uppity black that can’t relate, and although I might not be able to empathize I can sure sympathize and understand that their struggle is not for the swift but those who endure to the end. And though I haven’t experienced what they have, I've still had my fair share of struggles, it’s not like I don’t need upliftment and support because I’m a little different; if you’re going to have an institution designed to uplift the black woman it can’t exclude certain black women, that’s just splitting hairs.

The fact of the matter is mainstream feminism is white feminism. There doesn't need to be a white feminist movement because the majority of modern day feminism is run by white females, it’s an inevitable truth; something that became quite apparent as I went back and forth with that fellow feminist. And white feminist have different desires, different aspirations, and that’s fine…gaining positions of power, finally attaining salary equality to men…worthy causes, causes that I personally am very thankful for no doubt but these aspirations are not necessarily realistic to all women’s lifestyles and cultures. The movement faces internal struggles most of which seem to be swept under the proverbial rug of feminism and I think we should incorporate the struggle(s) we face internally, we focus so much on making .70 cents to the dollar of men but there are huge disparages in the salaries of white women versus salaries of women of color.

Is that not important?

This is something I feel is quite pertinent and it makes me respect black feminism more, if something is not being done for you, sometimes you have to do it for yourself; and I see this breaking away of black feminists from mainstream feminism as a direct response to not being acknowledge. In order to be a functioning unit and institution we need to expose issues that affect us, affect women; we’re fighting for this and against that and there are so many internal mishaps, which are just shooed away, why not open the paradox box, that’s my new mantra…however controversial it may be, I realize my kitchen can handle this heat because it’s positive to the growth of this incredible institution that needs to incorporate every woman, not just exclusively working for some. And I do commend women of the movement currently, because I think we all hope that the doors they are working to open will be held for my generations; for me. I respect what's currently being done in the third wave of feminism, but of course there's always room for improvement…it’s time to bring these issues to the forefront, demand attention, to generate change. And I’m not naïve enough to think it’ll happen overnight but maybe over time it can at least change a little…

   

Feminism: Black Feminism?

I’m Feminist and I’m black.

It recently was revealed to me in reading a race and feminist related article that black feminism is an actual sub-genre in the world of feminism and in the blogosphere in general. Prior to me starting this blog I had never really come across the title and/or belief system, and in all my posts I never really felt the injection of race was ever necessary; I wrote/write about experiences and opinions I felt/feel equally played out for women in general, not particular sects or races. And with some research and reading of some proclaimed black feminist I can understand  the distinction of black feminism, I realize the differences that they’re arguing, but I guess I never really faced those issues hence why I never did or really could discuss them. I see their premise being the struggles faced by black women in some way or another overshadow and are more intense than that of their white counterparts but that in general is a very perspective and person specific baseline. And yes in certain cases you do have disparaging differences between races as far as economic, social and familial structure go, thus creating new struggles, which is an inevitable truth. Furthermore the wealth gap between blacks and whites has nearly tripled in the last quarter century, in favor of whites and wealth usually being the determining factor for all other factions of lifestyle like education for example does create an issue. That being said I do understand that maybe in more than just a few cases; in a lot of cases black women face different or perhaps a bit more strenuous situations. Now this is not to say you can’t find poverty stricken families of other races and that other families aren't struggling to make ends meet; and that’s what I want to make clear, the censuses only go so far; those stats aren't all inclusive of every families struggle, those charts don’t incorporate everyone’s situation,  whether they’re black or white.

As it goes for myself I don’t see my life struggle any harder than I would of a white, 18 year female with the same socioeconomic upbringing and family structure as I have. I live in an upper middle class town, an hour from NYC, and more than half of my town’s demographic is white. And I think that inherently  puts me at odds of truly understanding and empathizing not sympathizing with black feminist. Frankly when I first heard the terminology I thought, “Well here’s another example of race further dividing a people rather than unifying over the simple desire of gender equality.”

And then it occurred that being black do I know fall under the label of: black feminist? Am I supposed to pick up arms and take on this new sub-culture’s battle cry? And I mean I genuinely think I can’t, I simply have no understanding or ties to this particular genre of women. Yes, my complexion is dark but I don’t know what it’s like to struggle in the black community because I never lived there, I wasn't raised or reared there. Class oppression, economic and educational disenfranchisement, finding yourself unattractive or less than because of your dark pigment…those issues aren't my issues and I’m not saying that I don’t care and that I don’t want to help alter these situations for the better, but it’s very difficult for me to completely understand them not going through the experience. I do want the option of decent education offered to every person: black, white, Hispanics, Asian, or otherwise and I do want to change impoverished and crime ridden communities and neighborhoods, these are all things I desire but I’d be lying if I said they were on the forefront of my mind. And it’s not even that I can’t relate to the community and the issues as much as I don’t think I should try and act like I've lived there and that I know that lifestyle. Because in large sense doing that, acting like I've been there and I know the pain and the difficulties, almost trivialize the point(s) and the situation(s) that black feminist  deem as major issues for black women.  They’re certain things taken away from experiences, that are only gotten via the actually experience, some stories can be told but others have to be lived and I realized that just because I’m black doesn't automatically enter me into the black feminist organization.

I want female equality for all females whether black or white.

Straight or gay.

Rich or poor.

Literate or illiterate.

Whether you have a degree or not you know as a person the treatment you deserve and the respect you desire. For me I’m not going to bring race into this blog if I don’t have too, it’s simply a paradox box of political and racial debates that are too hot for my kitchen(lol). And I am of course willing to bring publicity and notoriety to causes that need it, and if they so happen to be geared towards a certain race or ethnicity then so be it, if we’re going to come together as a gender and achieve equality it would be remiss to leave women behind.

In writing this post and taking time to grasp the ideologies of black feminism I understand and acknowledge its existence but I think it’ll take me a bit longer to truly respect its value and appreciate what it’s doing for feminism as a whole, if anything. And I question how much it actually offers to the average black woman, who probably has no knowledge of black feminism, and what it claims to provide, so it’s a very slippery slope.

As always these are personal opinions of my own and are in no way written to defame, disrespect, or trivialize any persons or institutes that might have been acknowledge within the post.

Feminism Poem

I am woman hear me roar, no hear me, I’m right here

Blood stains on the wall

I’m here is my presence worth nothing?  Does my assertiveness not scare you at all?

I am the gorgeous creation from our mother Eve, and I want to speak for the women here

We are not things for you confused individuals

We are not robots, and we don’t say “how high” if someone dare say the word “jump”

I think particularly of the young girls I encounter, confused of their worth

Disrespected, ill-treated, disregarded

Treatment they find okay? Is this the generation of today?

My mind spins, the surface murky please look at your sweet face

It glints back at you, an allusion of oculatory suspense

Understand that’s not how he should speak to you, dare him to hit you, and challenge him to respect you

You own the confidence of yourself; you are the holder of the master key that opens your pride, self-regard and dignity

These words flow from my mouth, extend to my keyboard and yet I still myself fail to take heed to the wisdom that spews from the inner consciousness of myself...

-Imani Seymour

Feminism: Feminist?

Feminism – the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. Prominence arose during the French and American revolutions in the late 18^th century.

Derived from the French word: feminisme

-New Oxford Dictionary

                I feel as though there’s looseness as to how the word feminism is used and how the tittle of feminist is applied.

Being in college I've notice a new wave of young women rallying in the name of feminism and identifying by it, and that’s great. Beyond the educational experience one should be getting from college it’s hands down the most formative years for the future individual you will be; the person you’re becoming. An aspect of this growth process will of course be dedicated to one’s sexuality, and for some women (and men, but for the purpose of this post it’s strictly women) that means going through this almost explorative experience with multiple male or female partners, which I’m not condemning. But then these same young women identify as feminist after the walk of shame they shuffled through earlier that same day; and that confused me.

 You don’t just “put on” feminism or being feminist when it’s convenient for you and “take it off” after you've finished your charade. Feminism or being a feminist is a thought process, a mindset, a movement of advocacy. This misconception that one can be feminist when it’s fitting at that appointed time is a complete oxymoron. Being a feminist as far as I’m concerned is a very admirable tittle that unfortunately tends to get a bad reputation.

This new trending belief system (odds are it’s been around, but simply closeted) that one can be a feminist in the day and whoring around in the night is very unorthodox to me. Granted it’s a very touchy subject;  the relationship between feminism and sexual tendencies.; and there is a fine line between observing and realizing your sexuality as a woman…after all pussy power is the main title of this blog. And I advocate the understanding of one’s self to the fullest extent, that including your sexuality and what it harbors and possibly benefits in your life. But if your habitats include laying your worth down at the wayside for the first cat-call of the evening…I mean if you even respond to cat-calls as a woman in general, whether you identify as a feminist or not, is a serious problem.

Nevertheless my point is not to reign down some doctrine on how women should behave, sexually or otherwise, but don’t claim something you aren't. How can I take you seriously if I know your respect for yourself concludes at the different door you enter each night? Now again, I am not saying “Oh all feminist should be the reincarnated Mother Teresa.”

This is merely one person’s opinion; mine. And although this blog is fairly new my beliefs are not. I am not saying this is applicable to every young woman/woman feminist or otherwise but simply something seen in my experience thus far.

Attaining equality has and never will be easy; we started this crusade for rights over three centuries ago and the fight is still ongoing. That should speak volumes in of itself. I mean please have your sex, enjoy It too because being a feminist doesn't mean a loss of sexual freedom rather the gaining of freedom through the understanding of the worth you have as a woman.

Phew…I think I’m done lol

Blog Update:

I've noticed as of late that this blog has quickly evolved into more of an avenue that really explores feminism, rather than my original intention to explore the power of pussy…and I like that.  I guess it is become multifold if you will, and I think I want to equally dedicate opinions and thoughts to both because believe it or not, realizing that your femininity is power in itself is knowledge. I believe the two are closely related but the latter tends to be more of a taboo topic, which I hope to change. Please stay tuned to new and upcoming posts that will either incorporate or be directly related to either the power of pussy or feminism, whether it be a certain aspect or a more broad post discussing feminism overall.

Blog updates are simply messages written from myself directly to my readers informing of new changes and/or updates. These updates are in no way related to the post it is attached too and our solely designed to inform of changes occurring in regard to the blog.

Modern Day Feminism

Firstly I wanted to give thanks to my viewers and those following! We reached over 100 views just before the first week anniversary! This is a huge accomplishment for me and it’s a true testament to myself, that what I’m doing is worth it.  

I had been thinking about how this blog metastasized into this unique channel to discuss feminism and the thought occurred: Just what is modern day feminism? Or who are modern day feminists? 

Mega music star Beyoncé used the terminology in a recent interview:

Beyoncé is a singer, actress, businesswoman and mother, and in a new interview, the multi-talented 31-year-old calls herself a "modern-day feminist." "I do believe in equality. Why do you have to choose what type of woman you are?" she (Beyoncé) told the British version of Vogue.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/beyonce-calls-herself-a-modern-day-feminist-20130403#ixzz2jQSyZESO

But I questioned, do I even consider Beyonce to be a modern day feminist, or was that her own ill chose label..

In my last post I discussed the transformation feminism or the symbols and individuals that represent the ideology have transformed, and what it currently is for my generation. Feminism does have an overarching definition but throughout time, like all things it has evolved into three waves. But I haven’t truly taken the time to give fair discussion to what modern day feminism is, and what that phrasing incorporates that differentiates from good ole’ feminism.

I sort of see feminism as two ways in this current day and age. You’re standard stuck up white, baton-up-her-ass, old woman that sort of embodies old feminism but might allow some components of modern feminism in her thought process. 

And then you have the bitchin, fairly rude, sexy, I- don’t-need-no-man-don’t-want-no-man, modern day feminist who wants to debate and fight you on every bloody point they find to be right. I’m not saying this is the only modern day feminist you’ll find but a large portion of women seem to have taken the ideologies of feminism and transformed it into this taking up of arms, and bickering of “Oh I don’t need a man.” “Fuck patriarchy.” Or the lovely hashtag that I've noticed in passing other modern day feminist blogs…#killallmen. I wish I could say I was lying but feel free to search the hashtag and shake your head in disgust of these particular individuals.

That’s simply never what feminism was about; whether it is modern day feminism or classical; it’s all defined the same as the upliftment and power of women, NOT at the expense of degrading men.  Yes we were originally fighting oppression that was generated at the hands of men but that doesn't mean we start degrading and disrespecting in return.

The movement was started, at least in the Western world out of women’s suffrage; simply trying to get small rights like: women having reproductive rights instead of producing children every 9 months, being able to actually go to the police and not get kicked out on their ass when they explain to authorities that there spouse just beat or sexually assaulted them. (Both topics still needing severe ratification; 1 in 4 women have and will experience domestic violence usually at the hands of a spouse or intimate partner. Furthermore many countries still don’t recognize spousal/marital rape as actual rape.)  I mean arguably that’s where most feminist movements throughout the world regardless of region start; women attempting to get control of their own bodies; of their body’s reproduction and receive some level of respect.

I think the bigger issue at hand is what are feminist of today, modern day feminist fighting for? What is there cause exactly? Because all I notice is a whole bunch of arguing on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, about topics of no merit, like why women shouldn't make sandwiches anymore. It’s not about any unity or coming togetherness and it leaves me questioning what kind of feminist I fall under; by default I’m in the third wave (feminism is sectioned off in three waves, identifying time periods and struggles throughout) but do I truly want to be classified as a modern day feminist?

I’m not here to fight to the death about my opinion; I’m simply here to offer it. To discuss women’s worth, and if along the way I can offer a glimmer of light or finally allow a woman to realize she’s more than her lady parts, that’s great too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiqmZLOaD8o

Team Women

Team Humanity