The Chase

You expect me to chase you?

Just a quick blurb for thought but lately I've come across this issue: Men, grown men expecting me to chase after them. In this ever evolving, modern society we live in many things have changed from the definitions of family and marriage to the ever increasing technologies we have at our fingertips; that being said there seems to be this new wave of thought on how courting should take place in this modern world. And it seems as though role reversal is the mantra of this generation…where women need to take the reins and seek men out. And I have no issue with a woman who knows what she wants and is confident enough to go after it, but personally speaking I usually let it come to me, and recently I noticed once it comes to be and I begin conversing with the individual I’m apparently supposed to keep the lines of communication open at all times…call him first, text him first, suggest this and that, as if I’m trying to start a relationship on my own. Pish Posh!! Give me a break, I don’t care if it’s 2014, common courtesy does not go out the window, I’m not saying you have to run me down on a constant basis but at least give me an idea that you actually want to hear from me, that you give two craps about my well-being…it’s a two street. Neither party should continually have to reach out; if there’s a mutual attraction shouldn't it come from both ends? And then male friends and counterparts always make the argument that their tired of chasing after women, and yeah you have some run of the mill girls who just want to be showered with compliments by any means necessary but that doesn't negate the population of women who desire the respect of a man taking the first step…idk a man being a man perhaps? In this evolving society it seems that the definition of a man has been lost in translation…the principals and weight carried along with the title of being a man has been all but removed. And the argument can be made that we live in a society that emasculate the man but that doesn't mean you have to fall victim, being stripped of any masculinity you have. Perhaps somewhere, someone doesn't even find this to be an issue, but as a woman it makes my stomach churn and I just needed to get that off my chest.  I will never chase down a man, it’s completely unorthodox and unbecoming; and here comes the importance of realizing your own worth as an individual, I know some females who will jump before a guy even says “how high” and that is the result of a failure to see yourself and what you deserve as a woman, as a human being.

*waving my white flag*

#blurbforthought

Thoughts?

Feminism: Black Feminism? (2)

http://pussypowerinfluence.blogspot.com/2014/01/feminism-black-feminism.html

So it has now become readily apparent that in writing my last entry(link above), there was no way the paradox box of race I so desperately wanted to leave closed can stay that way…and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I just think I assumed it would be easier, or less controversial to not discuss, to ignore the role race plays in feminism because at least from my perspective it seems to be a pretty taboo topic. And before I really get into this post I definitely want to thank a fellow feminist and moderator on the feminist page; you of course know who you are and I thank you for challenging me in my earlier post, for asking questions and therefore forcing me to generate responses and get a better grasp of what my position was and why I had it. Being a novice to this blogosphere of feminism has been a challenge no doubt and I appreciate receiving vital criticism of my posts.

I think to kick this post of I want to give black feminism a little more credit. Not because I completely agree with their beliefs but I wrote that initial post from a perspective of not completely taking the time to understanding what black women face. I was more into discussing that all black women aren't necessarily down on their luck and economically disenfranchised since I’m not and I failed to take myself out of the equation and give the struggles of other black women and women in general credit and merit. I still know people who weren't given the best hand in life, have heard stories about different struggles and that’s something I can speak too. It’s wrong of me to dismiss black feminism because frankly there speaking to struggles that mainstream feminism doesn't…  

But as I questioned in my last post how well their getting that message to a mainstream black female audience, is questionable and I’m not recanting that skepticism I have of the movement.

Furthermore black feminism became widely known in the 1970s…now fast-forward to 2014, and it simply isn't at the peak it once was and those black women that started the movement like Alice Walker, writer of The Color Purple, Angela Davis, Frances M. Beale don’t necessarily hold the positions they held some thirty years ago. Those women along with many other black feminist of their time did their rightly duty, went above and beyond for the black feminist movement, now it’s time for a new generation to, pick up arms, to continue what they started and sadly I don’t think that’s happening; therefore making black feminism become somewhat of an allusion, a novel with no pages that has failed to actually reach its current audience, it’s 2014 audience therefore leaving unknowing black women to the possible contribute the movement can offer, the sense of upliftment and empowerment...a sense of unity in knowing these struggles aren't specific to them; that their not alone.  Black feminism can contribute, but in order to contribute you have to reach the audience you claim to speak for, because if not, are you truly speaking for them?

What irked me about black feminism was that I felt it was a succession from mainstream feminism therefore making black feminism an even smaller speck on the spectrum, getting even less attention now when removing itself from mainstream feminism.

And I feel as though black feminism is also very exclusionary of black women like myself, well off I suppose would be an adequate terminology. Originally I questioned since I was black and a feminist did that automatically make me a black feminist, which it doesn't because it doesn't seem that I’m taken into account; I didn't necessarily grow up with the same struggles, I’m seen as the uppity black that can’t relate, and although I might not be able to empathize I can sure sympathize and understand that their struggle is not for the swift but those who endure to the end. And though I haven’t experienced what they have, I've still had my fair share of struggles, it’s not like I don’t need upliftment and support because I’m a little different; if you’re going to have an institution designed to uplift the black woman it can’t exclude certain black women, that’s just splitting hairs.

The fact of the matter is mainstream feminism is white feminism. There doesn't need to be a white feminist movement because the majority of modern day feminism is run by white females, it’s an inevitable truth; something that became quite apparent as I went back and forth with that fellow feminist. And white feminist have different desires, different aspirations, and that’s fine…gaining positions of power, finally attaining salary equality to men…worthy causes, causes that I personally am very thankful for no doubt but these aspirations are not necessarily realistic to all women’s lifestyles and cultures. The movement faces internal struggles most of which seem to be swept under the proverbial rug of feminism and I think we should incorporate the struggle(s) we face internally, we focus so much on making .70 cents to the dollar of men but there are huge disparages in the salaries of white women versus salaries of women of color.

Is that not important?

This is something I feel is quite pertinent and it makes me respect black feminism more, if something is not being done for you, sometimes you have to do it for yourself; and I see this breaking away of black feminists from mainstream feminism as a direct response to not being acknowledge. In order to be a functioning unit and institution we need to expose issues that affect us, affect women; we’re fighting for this and against that and there are so many internal mishaps, which are just shooed away, why not open the paradox box, that’s my new mantra…however controversial it may be, I realize my kitchen can handle this heat because it’s positive to the growth of this incredible institution that needs to incorporate every woman, not just exclusively working for some. And I do commend women of the movement currently, because I think we all hope that the doors they are working to open will be held for my generations; for me. I respect what's currently being done in the third wave of feminism, but of course there's always room for improvement…it’s time to bring these issues to the forefront, demand attention, to generate change. And I’m not naïve enough to think it’ll happen overnight but maybe over time it can at least change a little…

   

Feminism: Black Feminism?

I’m Feminist and I’m black.

It recently was revealed to me in reading a race and feminist related article that black feminism is an actual sub-genre in the world of feminism and in the blogosphere in general. Prior to me starting this blog I had never really come across the title and/or belief system, and in all my posts I never really felt the injection of race was ever necessary; I wrote/write about experiences and opinions I felt/feel equally played out for women in general, not particular sects or races. And with some research and reading of some proclaimed black feminist I can understand  the distinction of black feminism, I realize the differences that they’re arguing, but I guess I never really faced those issues hence why I never did or really could discuss them. I see their premise being the struggles faced by black women in some way or another overshadow and are more intense than that of their white counterparts but that in general is a very perspective and person specific baseline. And yes in certain cases you do have disparaging differences between races as far as economic, social and familial structure go, thus creating new struggles, which is an inevitable truth. Furthermore the wealth gap between blacks and whites has nearly tripled in the last quarter century, in favor of whites and wealth usually being the determining factor for all other factions of lifestyle like education for example does create an issue. That being said I do understand that maybe in more than just a few cases; in a lot of cases black women face different or perhaps a bit more strenuous situations. Now this is not to say you can’t find poverty stricken families of other races and that other families aren't struggling to make ends meet; and that’s what I want to make clear, the censuses only go so far; those stats aren't all inclusive of every families struggle, those charts don’t incorporate everyone’s situation,  whether they’re black or white.

As it goes for myself I don’t see my life struggle any harder than I would of a white, 18 year female with the same socioeconomic upbringing and family structure as I have. I live in an upper middle class town, an hour from NYC, and more than half of my town’s demographic is white. And I think that inherently  puts me at odds of truly understanding and empathizing not sympathizing with black feminist. Frankly when I first heard the terminology I thought, “Well here’s another example of race further dividing a people rather than unifying over the simple desire of gender equality.”

And then it occurred that being black do I know fall under the label of: black feminist? Am I supposed to pick up arms and take on this new sub-culture’s battle cry? And I mean I genuinely think I can’t, I simply have no understanding or ties to this particular genre of women. Yes, my complexion is dark but I don’t know what it’s like to struggle in the black community because I never lived there, I wasn't raised or reared there. Class oppression, economic and educational disenfranchisement, finding yourself unattractive or less than because of your dark pigment…those issues aren't my issues and I’m not saying that I don’t care and that I don’t want to help alter these situations for the better, but it’s very difficult for me to completely understand them not going through the experience. I do want the option of decent education offered to every person: black, white, Hispanics, Asian, or otherwise and I do want to change impoverished and crime ridden communities and neighborhoods, these are all things I desire but I’d be lying if I said they were on the forefront of my mind. And it’s not even that I can’t relate to the community and the issues as much as I don’t think I should try and act like I've lived there and that I know that lifestyle. Because in large sense doing that, acting like I've been there and I know the pain and the difficulties, almost trivialize the point(s) and the situation(s) that black feminist  deem as major issues for black women.  They’re certain things taken away from experiences, that are only gotten via the actually experience, some stories can be told but others have to be lived and I realized that just because I’m black doesn't automatically enter me into the black feminist organization.

I want female equality for all females whether black or white.

Straight or gay.

Rich or poor.

Literate or illiterate.

Whether you have a degree or not you know as a person the treatment you deserve and the respect you desire. For me I’m not going to bring race into this blog if I don’t have too, it’s simply a paradox box of political and racial debates that are too hot for my kitchen(lol). And I am of course willing to bring publicity and notoriety to causes that need it, and if they so happen to be geared towards a certain race or ethnicity then so be it, if we’re going to come together as a gender and achieve equality it would be remiss to leave women behind.

In writing this post and taking time to grasp the ideologies of black feminism I understand and acknowledge its existence but I think it’ll take me a bit longer to truly respect its value and appreciate what it’s doing for feminism as a whole, if anything. And I question how much it actually offers to the average black woman, who probably has no knowledge of black feminism, and what it claims to provide, so it’s a very slippery slope.

As always these are personal opinions of my own and are in no way written to defame, disrespect, or trivialize any persons or institutes that might have been acknowledge within the post.