Being that the previous post I wrote was really generated
out of pure, raw emotion I wanted to take a more in depth approach to the chase; what it means, is it a mutual
activity, who should take the first step…
In my previous post I was specifically discussing my own
issue with the chase; finding myself
in a position where men were expecting me to make the first move and keep the
lines of communication open; text them first, call them first, which as soon as
I realized this albeit bizarre pathology I just stopped reaching out to that
male all together. If there’s one thing I've learned in my life is that chasing
people doesn't make them stay, it makes them run further away from you. I learned
that lesson after chasing the first man that showed and allowed me to
experience love; my father. Not in any instinctual or illicit sexual manner but
he legitimately was the first man who ever loved me, and after an amicable
divorce from my mother he moved on accordingly with other people, and for the
longest time I chased and begged for his attention and to re-establish the
daddy-daughter relationship we once had. But my mother scolded me for this
behavior, “…don’t ever chase after a man…” she’d say and eventually I realized
he was so far ahead, even if I was sprinting I would never catch up to him; I
would always be chasing. From that point to today I feel I could never do it
again; chase after a man, I stopped chasing after the most important man in my
life so I’m definitely not going to chase a male who has some sort of
confidence issue and gets off on women messaging and calling, receiving some
ego boost because someone cares enough to reach out to him.
And in talking to other people they discuss fluid gender
roles and how there’s no issue with a woman asking a man out or a man asking a
woman out, which I agree with. We’re in evolutionary period where I don’t think
the woman taking the first step is as taboo, or desperate as it might have been
perceived in years past. But this has nothing to with fluid gender roles and
equality it’s an issue of manners and etiquette. Women who want to take the reins,
more power to them but that doesn't negate or invalidate a population of women
who might want a man to take the first step; I don’t mind power exchanges, I’ll
take the reins in a mutual situation too, so it’s not one sided; but lately I
feel like that’s all I run into, men waiting for me to take their hand and lead
the way… give me a break, and I don’t mean that to alienate men but I don’t
want to your mother, especially when you’re older than me…I guess the whole
with years come wisdom is specific to a minute percentage of the population.
In this evolving
society it seems that the definition of a man has been lost in translation…the principals
and weight carried along with the title of being a man has been all but
removed. And the argument can be made that we live in a society that emasculate
the man but that doesn't mean you have to fall victim, being stripped of any
masculinity you have.
The stereotypical
roles of men being the breadwinner, the head of the household, and the only one
who climbs the corporate ladder are over, I don’t agree with them and they are
completely alienating and disrespectful to the abilities of women, no doubt.
But in the previous expert taken from my last post there needs to be an
understanding that gender equality isn't suppose emasculate the man, and that
seems to be what has happened. The principals and weight of being gallant and
respectful, being a decent male, those are not to be forgotten, and sadly they
have; raising boys as masculine, beastly men? No. But as humans, as adults that
still harbor chivalry and respect. Present day guys trying to pass as men but
without the know how on approaching women, or how to be respectful. It’s
mortifying and frankly I go as far as to say it’s an epidemic. I’m not saying
there aren't decent guys out there, because there are but they've been
overshadowed by a generation of men who have no idea how to be just that, a man.
The chase is a vital part of the courting process, and I
don’t mean hunting the individual down, but a desire, actively seeking the
individual…I mean if that’s not happening, unless it strictly hooking up with
no strings that’s a situation that doesn't sound like it’ll be metastasizing
into anything more than a game of cat and mouse. And I've done that with enough
guys to not want to anymore.
And now I can breathe…
Please excuse how late this post is!
