The Chase Reloaded

Being that the previous post I wrote was really generated out of pure, raw emotion I wanted to take a more in depth approach to the chase; what it means, is it a mutual activity, who should take the first step…

In my previous post I was specifically discussing my own issue with the chase; finding myself in a position where men were expecting me to make the first move and keep the lines of communication open; text them first, call them first, which as soon as I realized this albeit bizarre pathology I just stopped reaching out to that male all together. If there’s one thing I've learned in my life is that chasing people doesn't make them stay, it makes them run further away from you. I learned that lesson after chasing the first man that showed and allowed me to experience love; my father. Not in any instinctual or illicit sexual manner but he legitimately was the first man who ever loved me, and after an amicable divorce from my mother he moved on accordingly with other people, and for the longest time I chased and begged for his attention and to re-establish the daddy-daughter relationship we once had. But my mother scolded me for this behavior, “…don’t ever chase after a man…” she’d say and eventually I realized he was so far ahead, even if I was sprinting I would never catch up to him; I would always be chasing. From that point to today I feel I could never do it again; chase after a man, I stopped chasing after the most important man in my life so I’m definitely not going to chase a male who has some sort of confidence issue and gets off on women messaging and calling, receiving some ego boost because someone cares enough to reach out to him.

And in talking to other people they discuss fluid gender roles and how there’s no issue with a woman asking a man out or a man asking a woman out, which I agree with. We’re in evolutionary period where I don’t think the woman taking the first step is as taboo, or desperate as it might have been perceived in years past. But this has nothing to with fluid gender roles and equality it’s an issue of manners and etiquette. Women who want to take the reins, more power to them but that doesn't negate or invalidate a population of women who might want a man to take the first step; I don’t mind power exchanges, I’ll take the reins in a mutual situation too, so it’s not one sided; but lately I feel like that’s all I run into, men waiting for me to take their hand and lead the way… give me a break, and I don’t mean that to alienate men but I don’t want to your mother, especially when you’re older than me…I guess the whole with years come wisdom is specific to a minute percentage of the population.

In this evolving society it seems that the definition of a man has been lost in translation…the principals and weight carried along with the title of being a man has been all but removed. And the argument can be made that we live in a society that emasculate the man but that doesn't mean you have to fall victim, being stripped of any masculinity you have.

The stereotypical roles of men being the breadwinner, the head of the household, and the only one who climbs the corporate ladder are over, I don’t agree with them and they are completely alienating and disrespectful to the abilities of women, no doubt. But in the previous expert taken from my last post there needs to be an understanding that gender equality isn't suppose emasculate the man, and that seems to be what has happened. The principals and weight of being gallant and respectful, being a decent male, those are not to be forgotten, and sadly they have; raising boys as masculine, beastly men? No. But as humans, as adults that still harbor chivalry and respect. Present day guys trying to pass as men but without the know how on approaching women, or how to be respectful. It’s mortifying and frankly I go as far as to say it’s an epidemic. I’m not saying there aren't decent guys out there, because there are but they've been overshadowed by a generation of men who have no idea how to be just that, a man.  

The chase is a vital part of the courting process, and I don’t mean hunting the individual down, but a desire, actively seeking the individual…I mean if that’s not happening, unless it strictly hooking up with no strings that’s a situation that doesn't sound like it’ll be metastasizing into anything more than a game of cat and mouse. And I've done that with enough guys to not want to anymore.

And now I can breathe…

Please excuse how late this post is!