Pathetic Tactics of a College Guy

Men are adults who sometimes act like dogs, young men are dogs, and boys are puppies.

The guys you’re meeting in college fall under the category of young men: dogs. This is not to disrespect or denounce men, young men either, but I’m here. I see it. And by George I’m blogging about it.

Pathetic Tactics of a College Guy:

1.      Roll up to the scene with his ceiling meaning, i.e.: attempting to woo you with his lack of charm and severely acne covered face. He calls you “beautiful,” says all the right things…to you and YOUR friends because getting in good with the females you surround yourself with only makes for better standings when all the girls gossip about him later. 
2.    Meet the boys. Now it’s time for you to meet his crew, so now they too can gossip but now about you and pretty much let him know whether or not you’re worthy his time, and anatomy. Usually done in a causal setting like a party, perhaps a late night dinner, or an evening of smoking/drinking. Whatever your vice or scene he wants his boys okay…unless you’re going to be the fuck buddy he hits and then forces to leave at 3am before sunrise.
3. Sleepover PG-13 addition. You've moved up to a sleepover; but usually you don’t come over under the premise of a sleepover but this night, suddenly he wants deep conversation…intellectual or otherwise. He wants to “know” the girl he’s been fawning after (LOL) who you are, your moral code, which usually will be a good indicator of how far you’re willing to go sexually too. You hang with the guys again, as they get a better view of you in a better lit room, perhaps you even bring over some girlfriends to even out the playing field and offer some comfort so you’re not totally this new guy. And after all this conversation, and possibly food if he has some, I mean damn at least some water, it has suddenly become too late for you to go home and he’s simply too god awful tired to walk you home [insert body in bed]. “You can sleep here tonight.” The fatal words that solidify your location for the next several hours. He’ll be sweet and nice, and offer you half his bed, a shirt to sleep in, and a toilet to piss in. After all it’s just two friends sleeping in a bed together…
4. The OFFICIAL sleepover. Now he has officially invited you to his place of residence, otherwise known as a 12’x12’ dorm room. Odds are he’s gotten too ballsy to even pick you up from your dormitory hall and you make the trek alone. You get there and he seems more douchbaggier than
   
   ever, he’s under the impression he’s going to get some tonight, and in some cases he will. He’ll attempt to entertain you with some mindless, mundane activity, like tv before taking it to the bedroom. Some more mindless gibberish will come out his loose lips and before you know it he’s putting on the moves fast and furiously. Kissing, making out, he’ll probably want to be orally copulated, which probably won’t be given in return, and I mean if he can get a home run he’ll try it too! But odds are the buck will stop at his own satisfaction and he’ll proceed to pass out after his physical expression of pleasure. 
5. The OFFICIAL sleepover: R rated addition. Now this is the           second option within the OFFICIAL  sleepover. After oral is received by the male participant, he might be ready for the main course.  (Oral was just an appetizer, the Hors d’oeuvre if you will) Anyways he goes in for the catch and hopefully has some form of protection, some guys are less inclined to wear any, and other guys actually realize their in college to get a degree not bring home a bouncing bundle of unwarranted and undesired bliss. But let the in flagrante delicto ensue, and after the humping, groaning, and moaning, it’s over, and he’ll  proceed to pass out after his physical expression of pleasure. Depending on how good it was, this  action might happen a few more times on different occasions before he deems you boring and the process will start all over again with another unknowing participant. Although some females know exactly what their getting into others, usually freshman claim they have an understanding of the situation but being in a dark room within such tight proximity and hard objects around soon realize they had a very distorted understanding of the situation they had dug themselves into.

And that in a nut shell is the tactics young men will use in an attempt to increase their “body” count
Again this is an opinion of my own, based off experiences I've observed and witnessed, so don’t hate me!